so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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