I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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