and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize