K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
