Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
