Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
