Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize