brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
