So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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