We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You need a sexual gate keeper
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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