Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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