he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
