Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize