summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
