census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize