lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
