i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
