went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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