Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
