dude i'm inner monologue high
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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