I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize