just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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