This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
