who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
