But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
