He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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