dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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