Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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