I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
