Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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