how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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