Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
