Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
