I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize