your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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