I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
