I'm going to jail i love you
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
