Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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