He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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