There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize