Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
