Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
