Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
did you get engaged???
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Your cock deserves a montage
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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