Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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