I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
