yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
