i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
