About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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