i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
