my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
