Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
