Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
