Having a random hookup so left but love u
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
