when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
