to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
