Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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