Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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