My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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