It's just like the Real World with babies
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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