Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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