ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
