I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
