help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
