babies were throwing up all over the place
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
