i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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